Sharing is Daring

A lot of our blog posts from 2019 have been about goal setting and how important it is to set goals for yourself and stay focused on them. But I want to talk about another aspect of goal setting – sharing your goals with other people. It might not seem like this aspect is really that important, but it can help you stay on track and keep you accountable while you’re striving for what you want.

Sharing your goals can be a little scary and intimidating though. What if you get behind? What if things don’t go as planned? What if you don’t reach your goal? We don’t want people to see all of the mistakes or misfortunes that happen while we’re working towards our goal. We’re afraid that people will judge us or be disappointed in us if things don’t go as planned – so if we don’t tell anybody what our goals are, they won’t know when we get behind.

On the flip side, if we don’t tell anybody what our goals are, we’re not getting the support and encouragement that comes from others who want to see you succeed. Mistakes and setbacks happen, but if you have other people rooting for you, it can really help to keep you motivated to get to where you want to be.

I have a friend from college who is an incredible athlete and an overall great human being. His name is Shawn and he is fearless when it comes to sharing his goals with other people. He sets goals in all parts of his life, from training for the NFL to reading at least one book a month. He posts about his goals and his progress on Snapchat for everyone who follows him to see.

Shawn sets a few important goal setting examples for us: 1.) While sharing his goals with other people, he’s not afraid of judgement, he thrives off of the encouragement and positive energy he gets from the people who follow his goal progression. 2.) Setting goals is important in every aspect in life. Like I mentioned above, he sets goals for physical progress as well as personal growth. We can set goals for literally everything! We’ve talked about how just setting goals for a specific thing can help us get to where we want to be, but I don’t think we always realize that goals can be set anywhere and for anything. 3.) Your goal progression can inspire other people. Sometimes I get jealous of Shawn’s boldness because I’m nervous to post about my goals or tell anyone about them for the reasons listed above. But I am also very encouraged by his posts and it makes me want to tell people about my goals and what I have planned.

Sometimes we think that setting goals aren’t necessary for a certain situation, but the truth is, if we want to get somewhere or something that we don’t already have, setting a goal is relevant. Maybe it’s earning a certain grade in a class, getting ready on time to leave for work in the morning, paying for a new car, playing your sport in college or professionally, getting a research paper done on time – goals can be set for anything! And they will help you get to where you want to be.

A couple of months ago my boss, Dr. Linda, asked each of our team members to write a blog post about our goals for the year. If I’m being honest, I got really anxious about it and I didn’t really want to do it because I was scared of what other people would think if I got behind or failed. However, since I wrote the blog about my goals, I’ve had people (that I didn’t even expect) cheering me on and supporting me in my progress.

Keeping your goals to yourself might be right in your comfort zone, and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but just outside of your comfort zone is a whole world of support and encouragement that can help build you up and get you to where you want to be.

Instead of thinking about the people who might judge you, think about all of the people who are rooting for you and want to see you succeed. Telling other people about your goals creates a support system that you wouldn’t have otherwise. You don’t have to put them out there for everyone to see, but telling a few people can make a huge difference in your progression. Dare to share.

If you’re daring, schedule a free mini session with me here!

Fail Better Soon

In my last blog post, I talked about the difficult process of progress and how it isn’t always forwards, sometimes we have to take a couple of steps backwards. But despite the failures, you have to keep your eyes on the prize and be proud of where you are now compared to where you started – you’re still moving towards your goal. That being said, it doesn’t mean you have to be ecstatic and filled with overwhelming joy about the times that you do fail.

Sweat the small stuff. Cry over spilt milk.

But then figure out what’s making you sweat, figure out how you spilled the milk.

We try to brush off small or insignificant things that aren’t necessarily detrimental to our end goal. Sometimes brushing off small failures is a good thing, it can keep us from dwelling on the past. But dismissing them right away can keep us from preparing for the future.

“I’m not going to call an ambulance this time because if I do, you won’t learn anything.” -Family Guy

If we don’t fail, we won’t learn. If we don’t learn, our minds won’t grow. If our minds don’t grow, we won’t be ready to take the next steps toward our goals.

It’s okay to be frustrated for a minute, but then we wash off the sweat, clean up the milk and go on with the day. When we take our failures and use them as new stepping stones towards our goals, we’re learning rather than burning. Research actually shows that continuing on in the face of failure and adversity is likely to create neural, molecular, and hormonal changes in the brain that help you become better prepared and more resistant in the future.

The perceptions of your abilities and your failures play a huge role in your motivation. We call these perceptions “mindsets.” There’s a fixed mindset that thinks talent, intelligence, and creative ability are static, they have a limit that cannot be extended – the fixed mindset thinks failure is futile and final. The other mindset is a growth mindset that interprets failure as valuable feedback for improvement instead of evidence of lack of ability. A person with a fixed mindset is likely to give up in the face of adversity, but a person with a growth mindset sees the adversity as a challenge that needs conquering.

Whichever mindset we’re in, a critical concept to remember is that people are not failures. Plans fail, actions fail, but you are not a failure. The important thing is what we do with those failed plans or actions – do we ignore them or learn from them?

Try. Fail. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.

Next step in failing better: Schedule a free mini session with me!

Don’t Hate the Hustle

Seems like hustle has gotten a bad name lately. “Escape the hustle.” “Quit the hustle.” “Stop the hustle.”

I hear it all the time. The message is intended as “Stop being so busy.” “Relax.” “Don’t overwork.” “Take care of yourself.”

I get what they’re saying, but as an athlete (and really just as a person with goals), you can’t hate the hustle.

Hustle in sport is never bad. It’s never wrong. You’ll never hear a coach in a post-game interview say “We just had too much hustle out there today.” “If we could just tone down the hustle, we’d be okay.” “Too many hustle errors.” Nope. That’s just not a thing.

Hustle is good.

Let’s clarify what hustle is. Hustle is working hard. Hustle is being focused and intentional with your actions. Hustle is going all out toward your goal.

Hustle is getting every loose ball. Hustle is running through first base. Hustle is full court press. Hustle is being in your position every play. Hustle is diving when the ball is out of reach. Hustle is running past the line on every sprint.

Hustle is doing all you can in the moment.

Sound exhausting? It’s supposed to be. That discomfort is the currency of your dreams. You don’t look back on a playing career and say “I wished I hadn’t hustled so hard.” That’s what you look back on as most proud of. That’s why there’s a Hustle Award!

The great thing about hustle is that it’s under your control. Your shot might not be falling, but you can always hustle. You might not be picking up the ball well, but you can always hustle. You might not make the starting line-up, but you can always hustle. Your team may not be winning, but you can always hustle.

This goes for life outside of sport too.

Now, I’m not saying don’t rest. That’s where the “Stop the Hustle” movement gets it wrong, by implying that hustle means to never rest. If you’ve done it right, you HAVE TO REST. We’re not meant to hustle 24/7. Take a breather between sprints. Get a water break. Clear your mind. Cool down. Stretch & recover. Do your thought work.

Then hustle again.

While you should definitely hustle for your goals, there’s one thing that you don’t hustle for…your worthiness. You do not hustle for your worthiness. You don’t hustle to show a coach, parent, teammate, or even yourself that you’re worth it. You hustle because you are already worthy. Regardless of where you place or if you even get to play, you’re worthy.

We’re all worthy. We’re all enough. That’s not up for negotiation.

Hustle (like goals) won’t make you worthy or happy, but it will help you see what you can do. It’ll help you see what you can accomplish. What goals you can achieve. What extra action and results you can provide.

But hustle doesn’t dictate who you are.

If you’re trying to find your hustle and you’re just not feeling it, look at your thoughts. Remember the process. Thoughts – feelings – actions – results.

If hustle is the action required for the results you want (and trust me, it is), you’ve gotta choose the thoughts that get you there.

And that’s what we help athletes and achievers do. So let’s make it happen. Schedule your free mini-session today!

P.S. Mini-sessions are available in person and via Zoom!

Turning Negatives into Positives

Motivation can be a tricky thing. It can strike at seemingly random times, or disappear at the drop of a hat. It can be influenced by a multitude of factors, and stem from the most unlikely sources.

I find that I am motivated by both positive and negative events sometimes. The strength of my motivation from these events can be very different though.

Something that I perceive as more negative can get me motivated to accomplish a goal quickly, but my motivation seems to taper off quickly after working toward the goal. A positive motivator may take me a little longer to really focus on a goal sometimes, but that fire to reach the goal seems to last much longer.

Take for example the goals that I set for myself earlier this year. One of my goals is to increase reach outs and advertising. While not a negative thing per se, they are sometimes out of my comfort zone. It takes more motivation for me to sustain working toward this goal. On the other end of the spectrum, my goal of getting the nursery set up has been much easier to sustain motivation toward this goal. (Also, who doesn’t enjoy getting to set up cute baby things!)

I know that I have this block to achieving what I want so I find other ways to look at events or situations to make them more positive. This allows me to sustain motivation to achieve!

Motivation is a very personal and unique aspect of achievement. Sometimes it takes a little help or guidance to find the ways that work for you.

If you would like to discuss how to increase and sustain motivation even for those “negatives”, sign up for a free mini session with me!

What Are You Running From?

It’s safe to say I’ve been a little lost since I set my goals on January 23 at approximately 4:26pm.

My intentions were good, and those really were my goals. Well, they still are. But some adjustments have been/ need to be made.

I keep letting life get in the way of my focus. I continue to allow my circumstances to overwhelm me, even though this is something I used to be great at preventing and dealing with on my own.

I’m realizing that the things that used to keep me motivated before are just not there anymore. Even though I retired from track and field a year and a half ago, I still spent the last year and a half(ish, until recent months) training. You could call this internal motivation, I did just enjoy training and still do – the way you feel about yourself after you’ve crushed a tough workout, the moments after a long run when you finally gain control over your breath again and realize how far your just ran, pushing yourself to your body’s absolute limit without letting your mind take over, the differences you notice in your mood, your ability to sleep through the night… the list goes on. Training is awesome. But am I really training anymore?

People used to ask me what I was training for, and I used to get annoyed, laugh it off and say, “For life,” and I think I even said that in my “Phase I: Phasing Out of Sport” blog. But the question started to weigh on me, and still does. I moved to a new city and started a new job and felt a little broken for having not ended up as I had planned at this time in my life. Motivation began to dwindle, but I kept powering through… up until a point.

I made a new friend at work, and as I continuously turned down making plans with him because I had to get a workout in or I had a run scheduled for that afternoon, he looked at me one afternoon and asked me, “What are you running from?”

I was taken back. I didn’t know how to answer. At the time I think I laughed and said, “Uhh, I don’t know. Nothing. I just like to run. It’s good for you.” Moments later in my head I answered to myself and said, “Everything, I’m running from everything.”

Around the time I started training for sport, call it age 12 against my will and age 14 willingly, that was when I learned that training served two purposes for me. 1) To be stronger than everyone else I was competing against/ to develop as an athlete and 2) To cope with the stresses of my life, to focus my energy on my body and let go of everything else for the 1-3 hours that I spend exercising.

“What are you running from?”

The question still sits in my head. When my career ended, I lost an entire half of my motivation to train. And with that, I lost about 50% of the time I could spend training. I retired from my sport and I still poured myself into training because it felt like all I had left. When I first moved to Kansas City, I didn’t have a job. I was putting 20 hours a week into training until I couldn’t even function normally. Too painful to walk, too painful to lay down. Cramps all the time, everywhere. When I tried to keep this up after getting a full time job, working overtime hours, and putting any moment of extra time I had into developing this business, I started to burn out and didn’t even know it. My diet fell off track. I went from running 20+ miles a week to maybe running 4. I could not possibly train how I had been training and work the hours I was working and still sleep. All the while I’m in a community full of people who were not college athletes and they don’t understand. They ask me questions about why I workout so much, why I eat how I do, and even why I want to. I’ve had questions like, “You’re a woman, why do you want to be so muscular?” They passed judgement. They made me question myself. They made me ask myself what I was running from. I let my circumstances get in the way of my focus.

So I’m not motivated to train because it will make me a successful athlete because I’m retired, that’s impossible. I still love the way training makes me feel, but I don’t love being exhausted working 16 hour shifts after I’ve had to wake up at 4am to get my lift in before work. I don’t love the stress eating that ensues after that type of day. I don’t love putting weight back on that I lost after track because of this cycle.

Now I’m motivated to break the cycle. Make changes, try something new, do something else. Anything else. Make it make sense and move forward. Remind myself that I am not a muggle, the haters can say what they want – I am a creature designed to test my body by way of diet, exercise, and mindfulness.

Today I started a Whole30. Today I started a 30 day yoga journey. Today I started a new weights and running program that I wrote to be more fitting for my new work/life schedule. I am motivated to take better care of myself. I am motivated by the way it makes me feel to crush workouts, runs, and yoga sessions. I am motivated to be fit, healthy, and happy.

I am not running from anything. I am running for myself. I am still training for life, it’s just a little different.

Ready to run for you? Let’s do a free mini session and talk about what that looks like.